3 years ago I knew who I was, 3 years ago I didn’t have a chronic illness. I have been thinking about this a lot these past few weeks, the F word has changed who I was and I desperately want her back. I was crazy, wild, fun, energetic, always busy, had time for everyone.
you know what I’m going to say next, yes I no longer meet friends, I no longer dance all night when I am out, in fact I never go out now.
It isn’t just about the debilitating pain, or the soul destroying fatigue, or the confusing and frustrating fibro fog, or the other 100+ symptoms. You loose who you are.
I have been grieving the woman I used to be, I am 41 and the closest I have come to having depression was when I had Post Natal Depression. This condition takes everything from you, your freedom, independence, confidence, self esteem, and your social life. You loose friendships etc because they don’t understand that one minute you can manage the symptoms, and the next your laid up in bed thinking I just want it to end, for it all to stop.
Don’t get me wrong I am able to fight the F word every second of everyday, I will not let it beat me. I also research to hell so that I can find what works for me, and then share that worldwide on here and my TIKTOK.
I am positive that one day there will be a fix for this, or at least something that enables me to go back to work, re build my life. I wont stop until I do, being at least 60% better than I was last year, to me means that there are alternatives out there that help and I will find what works for that last 40% and have me back. The funky, cool, crazy mish that loves life.
I am also Sagittarius, meaning I am a stubborn and very determined woman, also I take after my dad in that respect haha.
Together we will find that fix.
sending you all positive thoughts and gentle hugs