Of course, where do I start, so 6 weeks I’ve taken away from all social media and raising awareness as I needed too for my physical and mental health. For 6 weeks I have felt so lost, very alone in my feelings and thoughts. The battle 24/7 with the f word takes its toll on you, fighting multiple symptoms on top of severe pain that would rip anyone apart is such a hard slog. Sometimes I just need to step back from everything in life and care for me. I am no use in this world if I do not want to even get out of bed because I cant face another minute of it all. The one thing I am proud of with myself is i can always dig deeper and find that inner strength, like all my fellow warriors do, that is why we are warriors.
Lately I have been experiencing extreme anxiety, which scares me as I have never dealt with it myself. I cant sit still, my legs bounce up and down constantly, I have to use an anti anxiety device. I’m jumping at noises, I cant deal with too much as it overloads all my senses and then the anxiety goes through the roof.
The last few days I have finally accepted that this is now my life, and fighting against it, and not accepting that I have this chronic illness and depression and that it is okay, it will not control me. I will control it.
I will now adapt my thinking to my new life, and make this next journey amazing, I am only 41 and there are so many memories and magical moments that I want to experience and make. so keep an eye out on my tiktok, fwarrior facebook page and this website for future updates, because I will be taking you all with me.